Author: RelentlessMom

Support Groups through Social Media

Support Groups for Tongue Tie, Eczema, Peanut Allergy, Formula, MSPI, Reflux and Breast milk.

The following is a list of support groups I have followed and come to respect through Facebook over the past few years. It was extremely helpful, educational & encouraging to find support through other parents dealing with similar issues through these groups. By talking with other parents it helped sort through symptoms & keep up hope through our journey.

Ohio Tongue/Lip Tied Babies – Support Group on Facebook
– We found Dr. Milton & Dr. Brittany at Brunswick KiDDS (http://www.brunswickkidds.com/) through this group of supportive moms. I cannot say enough good things about this practice. Please refer to our utube video for more information. You can ask questions, get support regarding tongue-tie, get reviews on Pediatric Dentists and find preferred providers in your area through this group.

Tongue Tie Babies –Support Group on Facebook
– Fantastic national group that can direct you to your State or local tongue-tie group.

Eczema Parents – Support Group on Facebook
– When you have tried just about everything you can research to help with eczema these parents are there with the extra support, suggestions, tips and hope to get you through another day. Great Group of parents!!

MSPI and Reflux Mamas – Support Group on Facebook – I had often questioned my sons MSPI diagnosis because he didn’t meet the typical symptoms. After posting to this group I was directed by a mom to the Tongue Tie Babies Support Group. This group gives fantastic advice to mothers dealing with MSPI and Reflux.

Human Milk 4 Human Babies – Support Group on Facebook
– This group seeks breast milk for babies that are in need. There are babies with allergies to formula and mothers who are unable to product enough milk to meet the demands of their baby. I have successfully donated breast milk through this group. I would advise to always meet in public places when meeting up with strangers.

Peanut Allergy Moms – Support Group on Facebook
– As we have just learned both of my children have peanut allergies, this group has been very educational on tips and support as we sort through this.

Buy/ Sell / Trade Elecare, Neocate, Similac & Alimentum – Support Group on Facebook
– As you may find Elecare and Neocate are extremely costly and most often not covered by insurance. I was able to buy formula from other parents at discounted prices. I was also able to sell/donate formula on this site when we would have to make a switch after just purchasing several cans.

Find your “Momma Ally”

When you are having a day. You need someone to do a quick vent with. The ones who get “it” are the ones who have kiddos and are crazy busy. You don’t want to bother them. You know they are changing a pooh diaper, calming a tantrum, snuggling on the couch with a lil one who just fell asleep in their arms. You need to find your “Momma Ally”. Someone to quickly text/call and in 5 minutes or less vent your motherhood frustrations for the day. Just someone to quickly remind you, “it’s not you.”  Someone to quickly change your mood, so you can jump back on the positive motherhood horse and go on with your day. We love motherhood but there are rough momma minutes. Your “Momma Ally” needs to be on the same page. She is your no-pressure friend. The one you don’t feel you need to have a clean house for. The one you could tell anything to and she is going to tell you something far worse to make you feel better!  There is no competition between you and your “Momma Ally”. Just laughs. She is the one you could tell anything to. You need to be sending each other funny text messages and pictures to make each other laugh. You need to be sharing your rough times so she can share hers. Save a funny or uplifting picture you saw on Facebook or Pinterest just so you can be prepared to send it to her when you know she is having a day. A little laughter from a friend when you are having a rough momma minute can make all the difference in the world!  A BIG “Thank you” to my Momma Allies.  I have two.   They know who they are 😉  I appreciate you both and our chats more than you will ever know.

The Joy of My Life

Having children has been the joy of my life. I believe the meaning of life is finding whatever your joy in life is. My joy has been becoming a mother to Adalyn & Andrew. In my experience children show me the meaning of life everyday. Playing & laughing with a child can warm your heart like nothing else can. There is no greater sound in the world than hearing your child laugh & there is nothing sweeter than seeing your child smile. Seeing my son’s corners of his lip peak up on both sides of his binky when he smiles is a big reason I can’t think of weaning him from it yet. It gets me every time. When my daughter laughs it is so contagious you laugh instantaneously. Her laugh is infectious and can change your soul in an instant. Children are my life’s greatest blessing. At the end of each day I tell my babies “I am so glad I get to be your momma.” To me, becoming a parent makes life just make sense.

Overview of Symptoms

This is a general timeline of the symptoms my son had along the way. This is a rough estimate of when I noticed certain symptoms.

First few months of life:
– Multiple painful forceful letdowns of my milk
– Latch looked okay but son could not hold latch and would pop of breast frequently
– Letdowns during feeds cause son to cough & gag during feed and cause him frustration during feeds
– Short and frequent nursing sessions
– White blotched and cracked nipples
– Painful clogged ducts (not fully draining each breast at each feed)
– Frequent Sucking blisters on his lip
– Hard to burp
– Reflux
– Screamed every car ride
– Fussy after feeds
– Rarely sleeps & wakes frequently
– Tips for treating oversupply not providing relief
– Pumping before feeds did not stop forceful letdowns
– No pumping altogether did not decrease supply
– Suggested feeding positions for oversupply do not provide relief
– Applying pressure to different areas of the breast does not help

3 months:
(Same as above)
– Drooled like crazy (didn’t cut a tooth until one year)
– Bottle-feeding vs nursing does not help colicky behavior

6 months:
(Same as above)
– Pediatrician sent to new LC. She and her partner agreed he had a good latch. Suggested nipple shield. (He would not take)
– Bites when nursing to stop flow of milk when not teething
– Tongue seems to be attached to the floor of his mouth
– Tongue doesn’t lift when he cries
– He can’t lick (popsicle test)
– He can’t stick tongue out past bottom teeth
– Introduction of food not helping colicky behavior
– Babies usually can mimic you sticking out your tongue at this stage. Mine could not.

9 – 12 months:
(Same as above. No longer nursing)
– Meds do not improve reflux
– Formula changes are not helping colicky behavior (Similac, Similac Sensitive, Alimentum, Elecare & Neocate)
– Goats milk not helping
– Allergy elimination diets are not helping
– Skin prick testing negative
– Food Journals showing not correlation to culprits
– Constipation
– Rarely sleeps or sleeps for quick periods of time
– Not able to sleep through the night
– Seems to be able to drink better out of straw than bottle or sippy

Car Puke

(This one is for the mommas who understand Reflux)

When you have a child that cries bloody murder almost every car ride for almost 12 months you really never truly get used to it. Other moms I have come in contact with that have been through this all say the same thing. You avoid going anywhere you don’t have to. Sometimes, it’s easier to be a hermit. But, you can’t avoid doctor’s appointments and other necessary things. You learn to clump all errands together because you want to limit your time in the car as much as possible. On the day that my son went downtown to see the Endocrinologist is a morning I will never forget. We got stuck in traffic and it took 55 minutes to get there. My son screamed the whole drive. The things I yelled at other drivers were ugly to say the least. I never thought I would have survived that ride. When we arrived downtown it was pouring rain. I grabbed my son so fast from his seat to relieve him. Hearing his pain cry hurts my heart in a way nothing else can. His reflux is horrible in the car. I hadn’t noticed he vomited so bad that now that I was holding him we were both covered in vomit. We were already 5 minutes late for the appointment that I just went with it and ran inside. We were covered in vomit as I am wiping him and getting in the elevator to the 12th floor. There had to have been somewhere in the ballpark of 10-12 people on that ride up. As soon as I walked on I looked at all their faces. I fessed up right away to my fellow riders and said. “Hey, I am sorry. My son threw up on the ride down. That is why we smell. He puked”. It was the ride of shame that stopped on every floor up. I was so grateful to arrive at that appointment and to the nice nurses that helped get us cleaned up. It wasn’t until a few weeks later when we went to the fire station to get his cars seat checked, that I realized how much he truly threw up that day. When the fireman removed the seat there was thick vomit coating that I literally had to scrub, peal and pry off the leather seat. While I was extremely embarrassed in that elevator ride and in front of that fireman, it was just life at that time. Only some people truly will read this and know what it is like to truly experience reflux car rides. The second my son was able to get out of his infant carrier helped the reflux a bit but the screaming car rides continued on for quite some time.

20/20

Hindsight is 20/20. I have heard people use this saying in the past but I guess I never thought much of it. I finally get what it truly means. It is amazing that when you are going through something like we have the past 11 months and you are so overwhelmed, exhausted and just plain spent you can’t see the big picture. When I look back I think why didn’t I just do this or that. There are so many “why didn’t I know this” and “why didn’t I think of that”. Things that look so obvious now were not even considerations then. I just wasn’t in the know. I hope I can be someone’s hindsight. If writing this gives just one person a clear vision up front and they don’t have to endure what we did, than it was all worth it to put this down.

Today was a good day. My son only got up one time last night. He was pretty happy today with minimum fits of bloody murder cries and he actually took a nap. I showered today. I usually tell myself if I can shower, empty the dishwasher and do a load of laundry then my day was not a total loss. I actually consider this productive. It’s exhausting to go back and forth between good days and bad. While I am not complaining to have a good day… it’s the rough days that really get me. I think it is because I know how good a day can be and that it is possible for my son to have them.

Yesterday, well let’s just say it was a bad day. Last night I stared at myself in the mirror before bed. I didn’t recognize the woman I saw staring back. I just look defeated. It wasn’t that I took my daughter to school, then Andrew to the doctor, then my dog to the vet, then rushed home to clean my house for a house showing then back out to get Ady from school, then home to play with the kids, then final clean before showing and finally out of the house for the showing. I can handle the craziness of life. It’s the fact that I think Andrew screamed through most of the day. He was having a “bad day”. While at this point it could be reflux, gas, his constipation, inability to tolerate food or his irritability from lack of sleep. Whatever the culprit today. It was a bad day. It makes it all the more tough when you have a loaded day to survive. That’s what I feel I do anymore. I survive. And when at the end of the day I look in the mirror on a day like today. I don’t look at myself and say “good job!” I think, wow, you really sucked today. Think of all the times you lost your patience. You really look like hell. Man you have aged. How can my husband possibly find me attractive? These things race through my mind, along with many others. Sometimes I need a vacation from mind. I am just drained in ways I have never felt depleted before.

The Lost Pooh Nugget

It was going to be a big one! Man it smelled. He worked so hard on this one! As I carried my son to the changing table he just arched his back and screamed. Unfortunately, this is pretty common for our pants changing sessions. Although usually I bring a toy and can distract him. This time he wasn’t having it. I knew I had to be quick. He was a wiggle worm! As I opened the diaper I saw the nugget. It was a bit larger than usual but this would be a one wipe kind of change. As I went to close up the nugget in the diaper, He threw down!! His legs flailed, body rolling as he screamed! Oh the scream! I quickly tried to get him back over. Then realized he kicked the pooh nugget! I quickly grabbed a wipe to clean up his foot from the pooh. I quickly fastened the new diaper around him and set him on the floor for the pooh clean up. Going back to the changing table I reached for the diaper. Looking inside I thought, “where’s the pooh nugget?” It was gone! I looked all over the table, looked in the cracks around the changing pad where the table meets the pad, I looked on the neighboring couch, the floor, behind the table, in the below drawer, on his shirt, on me.. Where’s the pooh??!!! Then I recollected the wipes around the table and diaper and there it was… The lost pooh nugget. This would never happen with regular pooh I thought. Damn hard constipation pooh nugget! I laughed at what had just happened and called my husband to share a laugh for the day.

When lil ones finally fall asleep in the car

So what happens when your lil one actually goes to sleep in the car you ask? Well, let me tell you! When this special time happens it is amazing! When my dear baby boy goes to sleep in the car.. I drive. I drive to give him a nap and momma a break. The other day I had to run his 7 Quarts of leftover Goats Milk that he couldn’t tolerate to the Food Bank. Andrew fell asleep on the drive down.  By the time I was on my way home I seriously had to pee.  I was not in a good area of town and I never wake my sweetie to get out of the car to pee. That would be unthinkable. That would mean he would scream for the remainder of the trip.  So I hold it. As I drove through downtown I contemplated grabbing the diaper hanging out of my diaper bag on the seat next to me. I literally thought about placing it in my pants and peeing. As I looked around me there were trucks everywhere. I could never get away without someone seeing me. I literally couldn’t believe that I really was this serious about this. Then I thought, how bad would it be if I just peed? Then I thought, how would that affect my heated seats? Would the pee seep inside and it smell each time I turned on my butt warmer? No good. What would my husband think if I told him I peed in the car? So now I was 5 minutes outside of the city. I ended up caving and stopping at a McD’s. I didn’t pee my pants but I did have to hear my poor lil man cry the rest of the drive home.  I should have just peed my pants.

Dating Adalyn

Tonight I took Adalyn for a date night. I will never know how much Andrew’s colic has truly affected Ady. When you are one on one with Ady she is the most delightful and intelligent little girl. She can light up my world. I struggled terribly going back to work when she was a baby. I wanted to spend every second of the day with her. I think the hardest thing of all of this is that now that I have the ability to stay home full time the fact that I still don’t get to have Ady home full time with me. Ady by nature is a very smart girl and needs to have constant activity and attention. It was very hard for her to go from being at school full time to cutting back and staying home with me full time. I decided to keep her in daycare part time 3 days a week to help her with the transition. I feel so guilty when she is at school and I am at home with Andrew. The days she is at home she is so restless. I can fill the day with endless activities but she still seems like she is missing something. Ady acts up a lot around Andrew. I think between his screaming and the demand he has put on his parents and the attention he has taken from her has really affected Ady. I will never know to what extent. I have tried so hard to do what I can to help her through this as much as I can. When I see that she is really having a rough time, I try to do Momma/ Ady nights. I don’t know who enjoys them more to be quite honest.

Tonight I took Adalyn for a date night. I took her first to TJMaxx. I had a return. I took her back to the kid’s section and let her pick out something. Anything she wanted. Of course she went for the books. She loves books. She is 3 and a half and loves to look at the pictures and tell you the story. Ady picked out a book for herself and then we picked one out for her brother. When it is just the two of us Ady listens so well and I believe its because she has my undivided attention. We then headed to dinner at a pizza/pasta joint called Danny Boys. We crawled into the booth and ordered penne pasta and pizza. As we waited for our food we read Ady’s new Halloween book she picked out. We giggled as we read. As we ate we giggled. I enjoyed Ady like I have not had the chance to do in so long. We just giggled. We giggled through our Pasta, through our Pizza and then through our ice cream. I could not even tell you what we laughed about. We just giggled. I feel like Ady and I just get each other. We can be so silly and I think that is what she longs for from me. I think the days I get consumed with Andrew she just misses the silliness. We share such a special bond and I will never know how much I have hurt her feelings by being so consumed with Andrew. I will make it a point to continue to date her. Through all of this, I will make it a priority to take time out to enjoy her. This night was the most enjoyable night I have had in so long. I think its nights like these that Ady and I both need. She brings so much joy to my world.