If there is anything parents can relate to it is how the worst things always happen in the most awkward of places. We have all been there and while they may have been awkward at the time we can all look back on them and laugh. My husband and I love the beginning of the movie Couple’s Retreat where Vince Vaughn and his family head to the home improvement store. His son proceeds to use the toilet in one of the bathroom displays. I think every parents dies laughing because that too or something similar has happened to them or they could see it happening.
When Ady was 2 months old I took her to open up her first account at my local bank. I remember that day so clearly and my favorite outfit she had on. It was a pink floral romper with matching hat and she was darling in it.
As we discussed the different options for her first savings account Adalyn sat on my lap while the agent admired her. As we continued on, Adalyn pooped. This wasn’t a little poop. Adalyn pooped so much it went up her back and I could see it through her romper and could feel the warmth on my leg. I am sure my face turned all shades of red in that moment. The agent was as kind as could be as I explained that I had to change her and quick! She explained that they did not have a public restroom and offered me her bosses’ office next to hers. She walked me in and said I could change Adalyn on her bosses’ desk. She instructed me to do it and I laid out my gear and cleaned her right up. If I had to do it again I would have changed it on the floor rather than her bosses’ desk. Luckily the boss was not in that day but I could only imagine what this person must have been like for her to have offered me to do that on their desk!
I am not quite sure what it is about banks but when Adalyn was two, she, her dad and I went to another bank to have a meeting about refinancing our house. Adalyn sat on her dads lap that day. I remember that day well because he was bouncing her on his knee as we talked and she projectile vomited all over the agent’s desk and floor. Oh we did what we could to clean it up but I can’t imagine she got that smell of sour milk out of her office for quite some time.
Ady was not just partial to banks. We enjoyed a poop explosion in a dressing room at Kohl’s once too. When Ady was a baby I always would go to a dressing room if we were out and we needed to break for a nursing session. Target and Kohl’s dressing rooms make for a very pleasant and relaxed nursing experience. This particular trip my mother was with us at Kohl’s because it was my first shopping trip out with Adalyn. My mother decided to go look at clothing on her own while I went into the dressing room to nurse Adalyn. As she fed I watched the two of us in the mirror ahead of me. I don’t know what it was about nursing but that was always Adalyn’s magic poop time. She would just relax and release. As I looked in the mirror I noticed brown seeping through her outfit and crawling up her back. There was so much I didn’t know what to do. I was in a dressing room! I quickly grabbed my phone and asked my mother to join us. I was so grateful for her that day as she helped me clean up Adalyn and get her a wardrobe change.
While I can’t remember that many more instances where Adalyn pooped like that, when she did do it she made it memorable.
The only other time I remember her throwing up, as a baby was when I was holding her in her bedroom when she was running her first fever. I was holding her in my left arm and our faces were close together as I was comforting her. Right then, she puked and it shot straight and direct right into my mouth. I think it was the first time Adalyn had ever vomited. I remember gagging and rushing to get us cleaned up after. I don’t remember if I was more concerned with her vomiting in my mouth or that I was so consumed with the fact it was her first time ever throwing up. Either way, I always will remember Adalyn’s first bank deposit, shopping trip and first vomit. While these are not the usual things you want to remember they are the things that I look back and laugh about.